Trapped in my own version of Hell...(an irrationally angry lady vent)
After walking around the streets and museums of Warsaw unable to communicate with people beyond the level of "one student ticket, please" and "where's the bathroom?" one might think being in a room filled with native "English" speakers would be a blessing. Unfortunately, when those native English speakers are self-important Aussies, hearing a language you understand could not be more annoying.
On one side of the room, there is stereotypical loud female Aussie entertaining five obnoxious male Aussies (correction, four aussies and one irishman) who act like 16-year-olds drinking beer for their first time. On the other side of the room, there are a couple "more mature" Aussies who can't tell stories without shouting at the top of their voices. (And, by definition, there is not intellectual content to justify their enthusiasm. Undoubtedly, their stories revolve around drinking and being drunk.) There are a few quiet, if not absolutely uninteresting girls in one corner (passively watching and thereby contributing to the exhibitionism of the obnoxious young Aussies) and the only non-English speakers (German speakers from what I can hear) have managed to sit next to me and chomp pretzles in my ear non-stop. (Pretzles are a genius invention and I love pretzles, but they're made in such a tiny, easily edible shape for a reason--so you can put the whole fucking thing in your mouth at once, not so you can nibble at it piece by piece.)
It's happy hour in the hostel bar, so ordering two beers at a time is cheaper than ordering one (two for 7, one for 5). Without any shame, I ordered two and sat down with both of them. I suppose I could make an excuse and pretend to be waiting for the absolute wanker aussie of them all, my roommate, but I would like to share a beer with him like I would like to allow a piranaha to suckle at my left breast.
Fuck! When did "travel-happy" turn into "I hate you all (and your Aussie accents, too)"? Perhaps I'm just hungry and on the verge of low blood-sugar mania, but since I have been eating (biscuits, go figure), I think it's something else. Perhaps it's just the architecture of the bar, which seems to make things echo with no end. Or perhaps, I'm bitter because tomorrow I return to a place where I used to live and I envy all these Aussies who go out and "travel" for years and years without any remorse about not productively contributing to the world. ( I wish I had more time in Warsaw, and I wish I had more time to travel!) But in all honesty, I think the novelty of meeting new people has warn off. I'm no longer interested by the tedious details of the lives of tedious people who are not intelligent and don't even pretend to take interest in intelligent (or even pseudo-intelligent!) things. (Then again, what can one expect? These are the same people who look at travel like a to-do list--done that, done that, need to do that, etc.--and treat life in foreign countries like arenas for competition with their countrymen?)
The lesson from this hostel (which I chose on the basis of good review and free wireless) is: unless you want to eat and drink with wankers, don't go where the guidebook tells you. Read the reviews, but trust your gut and go where you want to go, stay where you want to stay and sleep in a room with people you don't immediately detest from the first moment of introduction.
On that note, it's time to remedy the sitation: Na zdrowie! (I've moved on to my second beer.)
On one side of the room, there is stereotypical loud female Aussie entertaining five obnoxious male Aussies (correction, four aussies and one irishman) who act like 16-year-olds drinking beer for their first time. On the other side of the room, there are a couple "more mature" Aussies who can't tell stories without shouting at the top of their voices. (And, by definition, there is not intellectual content to justify their enthusiasm. Undoubtedly, their stories revolve around drinking and being drunk.) There are a few quiet, if not absolutely uninteresting girls in one corner (passively watching and thereby contributing to the exhibitionism of the obnoxious young Aussies) and the only non-English speakers (German speakers from what I can hear) have managed to sit next to me and chomp pretzles in my ear non-stop. (Pretzles are a genius invention and I love pretzles, but they're made in such a tiny, easily edible shape for a reason--so you can put the whole fucking thing in your mouth at once, not so you can nibble at it piece by piece.)
It's happy hour in the hostel bar, so ordering two beers at a time is cheaper than ordering one (two for 7, one for 5). Without any shame, I ordered two and sat down with both of them. I suppose I could make an excuse and pretend to be waiting for the absolute wanker aussie of them all, my roommate, but I would like to share a beer with him like I would like to allow a piranaha to suckle at my left breast.
Fuck! When did "travel-happy" turn into "I hate you all (and your Aussie accents, too)"? Perhaps I'm just hungry and on the verge of low blood-sugar mania, but since I have been eating (biscuits, go figure), I think it's something else. Perhaps it's just the architecture of the bar, which seems to make things echo with no end. Or perhaps, I'm bitter because tomorrow I return to a place where I used to live and I envy all these Aussies who go out and "travel" for years and years without any remorse about not productively contributing to the world. ( I wish I had more time in Warsaw, and I wish I had more time to travel!) But in all honesty, I think the novelty of meeting new people has warn off. I'm no longer interested by the tedious details of the lives of tedious people who are not intelligent and don't even pretend to take interest in intelligent (or even pseudo-intelligent!) things. (Then again, what can one expect? These are the same people who look at travel like a to-do list--done that, done that, need to do that, etc.--and treat life in foreign countries like arenas for competition with their countrymen?)
The lesson from this hostel (which I chose on the basis of good review and free wireless) is: unless you want to eat and drink with wankers, don't go where the guidebook tells you. Read the reviews, but trust your gut and go where you want to go, stay where you want to stay and sleep in a room with people you don't immediately detest from the first moment of introduction.
On that note, it's time to remedy the sitation: Na zdrowie! (I've moved on to my second beer.)
posted by Elizabeth at 1:36 PM
2 Comments:
I totally empathize (or is it sympathize...I always get them mixed up). Although I won't take advantage tonight, I am very much looking forward to my own shower, my own laundry abilities and for the love of god MY OWN BED!
And for the record, my feet look like swiss cheese. Walking, while wonderful and judging by my new waist size, good exercise, is not good on the lower extremities!
Also, Aussie travelers are the devil. All I need say is...Gatwick. Right, Sally?
Indeed, in an email Lady was telling me about these motherfuckers, and it made me cringe. There is something about Australians (and Germans) that if they're at all annoying to me, the accent (or language, as it were) multiplies the annoying factor by about a hundred. I think it has something to do with the fact that they are - in general - loud and self-important.
(I hate to generalize based on nationality because I know what that says about me as an American if the rest of the world is doing the same as I, but in my travels I have mostly found the above statements to be true!!!)
Post a Comment
<< Home